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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22866937">I’m trying my best to be okay</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lots_pen/pseuds/Lots_pen'>Lots_pen</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>mileven and friends [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Stranger Things (TV 2016)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Mileven, Post-Episode: s03e08 The Battle of Starcourt, Protective Mike Wheeler, Stop cutting off reunion scenes you cowards, let Mike show emotion 2020, someone hug this boy</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-02-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:27:45</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,217</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22866937</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lots_pen/pseuds/Lots_pen</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike and Eleven are at the Byer’s house after the battle of starcourt and they let themselves crumble.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eleven | Jane Hopper/Mike Wheeler</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>mileven and friends [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1643743</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>54</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I’m trying my best to be okay</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The title of this fanfic is from the song 'trying my best' by Anson Seabra :) you don't need to listen to it for this, this is not a song-fic but I thought I'd let you know :)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eleven wasn’t sure how to describe all the emotions she felt from the prior events except so much physical and emotional pain, she couldn’t work out which was worse. She could feel everything and nothing.</p><p>She was currently sitting on Will’s bed, who had kindly given it up so he could share with Joyce. Her leg hurt badly, it felt so much like last year when she’d come home from the gate except her dad-</p><p>El started to cry. Tears were falling down her cheeks onto the bed covers and she couldn’t help but feel guilty that she’d messed up Will’s sheets. Messed up everyone’s lives. Just by existing.</p><p>Just as it was getting too hard to breathe, she was interrupted by a knock at the door, followed by Mike entering her room.<br/>
She watched as he stared her up and down, eyes calm and yet frantic with worry as he took in the sight before him. His hair was tousled and messy and his face looked sore from where Billy had hit him against the wall. He approached her gently and sat next to her.<br/>
It was all too much, she’d lost control and she definitely couldn’t breathe.</p><p>“El” he murmured softy, before coming forward and tugging her into his chest. He stroked circles into her arms and sides and wherever else he could touch.<br/>
“Just breathe, okay? Just breathe with me El” she tried; she really did but she just couldn’t match up to him. Everything was spinning and she wanted her dad; she wanted it to all stop.</p><p>“El, baby please” he muttered lightly against her ear. She realises he’d brought her up into his lap and that their foreheads were touching lightly. Normally el would love when he called her that, but she felt sick this time. She didn’t deserve the gentle tones, so many people had died and it was her fault.<br/>
She registered the sound of her own choking sobs, getting caught in her throat with her breathing.</p><p>“I-I ca-” she tried to tell him she couldn’t, but she got cut off from her lack of oxygen, suddenly dizzy.</p><p>“El? El?” Mike tried shaking her shoulders gently to get her attention. His voice sounding panicked and hysterical and once again it was all her fault.</p><p>“El you have to breathe, please” he tried again, hysterical but gentle as he started to pepper her face with kisses, and only then did she manage to gulp down some air.<br/>
</p><p>“Brilliant. Just like that, okay? Just like when you call me on the walkie at night, or when I sneak through your window. Count with me alright?” El knew exactly what he meant, so many times he’d had to comfort her when she couldn’t breathe, but something about this one just felt so heavy. So, he brought her hands to his chest, to feel his heartbeat and they stayed like that for as long as she needed.</p><p>On her comedown, trying to get her breathing steady she suddenly realised her adrenaline was wearing down, along with the pain medicine from the ambulance. She bit down on her lip, trying not to make it known but she couldn’t help but whimper at the jolts going up her leg.</p><p>Mike was still forehead to forehead with her, and he could clearly see it in her eyes before she whimpered.</p><p>“Is it your leg?” He murmured, hand reaching down as she nodded her head frantically.</p><p>“How bad? Use our scale remember?” Hopper has created a scale for eleven to use because she wasn’t always very good with her words, and not very honest with them, not wanting to worry anyone. She couldn’t lie as well with numbers.</p><p>“N-nine” she managed to stutter out and Mike sucked a breath in quickly out of worry. He knew her nine was basically a ten, she just didn’t want to use the highest number.</p><p>He quickly re-positioned them lying down, making her injured leg rest on the bed between them. Out of instinct she tried to move herself up to rest her head in the area between his neck and his shoulder but she jostled her leg and couldn’t help but cry out in pain.</p><p>Mike was all over her within seconds, murmuring words of comfort and it was only when she felt something on her head dripping down did she realise he was crying.<br/>
“M-mike?” She whispered, reaching her hand up to wipe his tears.</p><p>“I’m okay El” he tried to reassure her, but she knew he was lying.</p><p>“Promise?” She tried, and that was when he crumbled. Tears soaked her hair and he broke down, clutching at her, at any price of her he could hold onto.</p><p>“I-I’m sorry” he managed to get out.<br/>
“You’re going through the worst time of your life and I’m the one crying” El was going to interrupt and tell him that just a few moments ago, she was also a crying mess but he kept on going.</p><p>“I hate it when you’re hurt. I hate it so much. When Max woke me up I- I ran right for you and then I saw you just lying there and it was happening all over again” he sobbing was making it hard to work out what he was saying but El could do it. She knew him better than anyone else.<br/>
“I didn’t want you to leave me. I was so so scared. There’s no one I can really talk to and mom wanted me to come home when she met us at the mall, but I couldn’t. I had to come here with you, you’re the most important thing in the world to me and I can’t tell my mom” 

El realised a few of the issues Mike had ran deeper than just the fight that had occurred today.</p><p>She didn’t realise how difficult it must be for his parents to not know about any of this, that he’s going to have to go home soon and apart from Nancy, no one will know he helped save the world and that he deserves some extra love, or extra rest.<br/>
“It’s okay Mike. It’s all going to be okay” she spoke softly, massaging his scalp through his chocolate curls, kissing him gently on the lips so he could start to focus on something other than his worries.</p><p>“I’m the one who should be telling you that El!” Mike moaned, hitting his head against the top of the bed frame.<br/>
She grabbed his head into her hands as he twisted to the side, trying to avoid hurting her leg further.</p><p>“We look after each other Mike, that’s how we work. We can tell it to each other” she smiled, and once again Mike was revelling in how she could see things so simply sometimes, didn’t she understand that he shouldn’t cry the way he does? That if his dad saw that he’d been crying in front of a girl he’d be even more disappointed in him.</p><p>For now, Mike listened to El instead, and let himself show emotions that weren’t just anger and aggression, melting into his frustration and his tears.<br/>
They sat there for hours, comforting each other and hoping that by the time morning came, they’d both believe they were going to be okay.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry it’s so short guys :/ if you like it let me know and comment any ideas you’d like me to write in the mileven universe! I have a few more to publish over the next few days x  <a href="https://www.tumblr.com/blog/lots-to-love">come say hi on tumblr!</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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